I know, it’s been a minute. But for now, I’m back, with a new resolution to visit this little internet place of sharing a bit more often. The past few months have been one heck of a birth canal (literally, the frequency of birthing babies dreams was out of control) and I find myself sitting at my desk, post vacation, more present and grounded than I have felt in some time.
This was no usual trip to the Bay. No daily circles through SF-OAK-Marin. No excessive bridge tolls, gas costs, multiple dates a day. Instead this trip involved a lot of respite, few plans, a bit of anxiety about disappointing people, and ultimately, my own ability to let go of what I think I should be doing when I am home.
I rested. I ate more steak than I have in a year. I layed in the sun. And, I let myself be in the place that I try to avoid missing.
For the first time since I moved, I asked myself why I don’t live in the bay area. I mean, that place is heaven, and minus a few people in NYC and a certain someone in Seattle, my people are there. It was nice to tap into the place I love. To slow down enough to ask some questions about what I want and what the plans, er really dreams are, over the next few years.
A theme that wove itself through many a conversation was the moments in our lives that show up and invite us to new places in ourselves. Sometimes we miss the moments. Sometimes, if we are so very lucky, they find us, with our eyes open and hearts a beating for an adventure, and we step through a threshold. This can be towards a smaller thing – simple changes in food or exercise or other habits that keep us feeling good. Or, they can be a bigger thing – like clarity about our roles, work, loves.
A door opened up on this trip. And, I am happily dancing through the threshold.
More on this soon.